Detentions with Snape
by Miss Breeziness
Summary: Various characters from multiple fandoms attend Snape's Potions class, and all get into trouble. How will they get out? Based on a meme by hazy chan.
1. Introduction and rules thingy

Detentions with Snape_A kaleidoscope of multifandom crossovers _

This idea was invented by hazy_chan (http: / / hazy-chan . livejournal . com / ).

_Rules: _

Go to http : / / www. geocities. com/ seansbabe69/ detention/ index2. html

Bookmark it.

Now list 12 characters.

Place each character in a house.

You must follow the rules and do each one in order. Make note of the results (copy and paste). Then do a drabble on them...All of them.

_My list of characters:_

1. Youko from _Inukami!_ (Slytherin)

2. Sailor Star Fighter from _Sailor Moo_n (Gryffindor)

3. Maxwell Smart from _Get Smart_ (Hufflepuff)

4. Miaka from _Fushigi Yuugi_ (Hufflepuff)

5. Charles Bingley from _Pride and Prejudice _(Hufflepuff)

6. Tomo Takino from _Azumanga Daioh_ (Gryffindor)

7. Samwise Gamgee from _Lord of the Rings_ (Gryffindor)

8. Hank Rearden from _Atlas Shrugged_ (Gryffindor)

9. Po from _Kung Fu Panda_ (Gryffindor)

10. Sailor Mercury from _Sailor Moon_ (Ravenclaw)

11. The Chief from _Get Smart_ (Ravenclaw)

12. Eowyn from _Lord of the Rings_ (Gryffindor)


	2. 1: Youko from Inukami!

**#1: Youko from **_**Inukami!**_

The green-haired girl stood defiantly on the bench, a sneer in her eyes, pointing an accusatory finger at the large, bulky boy who was now laying on his stomach at Professor Snape's feet. Wisps of smoke rose from his charred blonde hair and singed robes, and large pieces of broken glass lay littered about his head.

"_He_ tried to jinx me first, Professor!" Youko protested loudly. Then, she turned to face her fellow Potions students, many of which have now gathered around for a closer look and were murmuring to each other. "You've all seen it. Crabbe tried to attack me - because he asked me out and just _wouldn't_ take no for an answer. And for your information, I already have someone and, as his inukami, I am loyal to him and won't even _look_ at another guy!"

The expression on the sallow-eyed professor's face remain unchanged. "Admirable as your loyalty may be, Miss Youko, you know very well that it is highly dishonorable for fellow Slytherins to fight amongst themselves. _Especially_ in my classroom. And _especially_ by setting said fellow Slytherin on fire and dropping a large and highly expensive flask on his head. What is more, your _particular_ brand of magic falls outside of what we normally strive to teach at Hogwarts. Therefore, you and Mr. Crabbe shall spend the lovely hours of this weekend in a private dungeon, arranged just for you, so you can, well, "work out" any differences that you may have..."

Youko's face blazed with rage. "YOU...!!!" With a touch of her foot, she rose twelve feet into the air, remaining there effortlessly, and it seemed that bolts of rage flashed from her eyes. Her face became elongated, furry, and sharp fangs sprouted in her mouth. "YOU...just don't like me...because I'm an inukami!"

She raised an arm. "DAI JAEN!!!!"

Streams of fire hurtled downwards. Professor Snape barely managed to raise a protective barrier around himself in the nick of time, and when the flames subsided...The classroom was filled with the scent of singed hair and burnt herbs. A few students poked their heads out from behind the class benches, their hair and robes as badly singed as Crabbe's had been.

"Hmph! It's hardly worth staying here!" And with that remark, Youko landed by the door, turned the knob, and walked out.

Behind a bench at the very back of the classroom, two singed heads, one black-haired and one red, poked out hesitantly.

"Maybe this means Snape will let us off early," Harry Potter mumbled.

"Yeah, I hope so," his friend Ron whispered back. "You know, that Youko sure is something. Although I must say I wouldn't want to go out with her personally - Five minutes with _that_ girl would literally be murder."

Fingering a strand of his messy black hair, still smoking from a singed end, Harry couldn't do anything except nod.


	3. 2: Seiya from Sailor Moon

Seiya Kou, aka Sailor Star Fighter, from _Sailor Moon_

The sallow, tightened face of the Potions professor glanced downwards at the two wayward Gryffindor boys – curse that blasted house forever! – who he had now caught red-handed in an act of blatant and unforgivable insubordination. Or red-mouthed, rather, thought Snape, judging by how the two had spent an entire ten minutes arguing about the chances of that _unthinkable_ Chudley Cannons team, instead of working diligently on the Draught of Living Death that they were supposed to be making. _He_ had ordered the class to, after all, and that was the _final_ word!

Ron Weasley would learn his lesson this time, Snape thought. Him and that friend of his, that boy who, from his first day in school, instantly took to strutting around the halls like that James Potter – a thousand curses on that despicable man, even though he has died! – and thinks he's just that _great_, that _awesome_ and that _above the rules_ just because he was so darned famous and constantly bathed in the attention of about three quarters of the fickle, looks-obsessed girl student population of Hogwarts…

Oh yes, they'd learn their lesson. Ron Weasley and that Seiya boy both.

"Aha, Mr. Weasley, and our _latest_ celebrity Mr. Kou. I see that _some_ of us, from what I've been observing so far, apparently are _so_ secure regarding our talents in Potions class that we feel comfortable_ sitting around and chatting about our favourite sports teams_, rather than actually _exercising_ them?"

Two heads, one crowned with messy red hair, and the other with long black hair tied back in a ponytail, turned to face him. Both instantly knew they were in trouble, but while Ron Weasley had the expected look of apprehension and fear in his eyes, the other boy's contained only a mocking laughter.

Which was, loud or not, definitely high on the list of things that Snape couldn't stand.

"I will tolerate _no_ insubordination in my classroom. When I set out work for my students to do, _I expect them to do it_." The Potions professor's eyes, which were dark and unfriendly in the best of times, now practically blazed with a raging fire which threatened to devour the two miscreants whole, and several students looking on gasped in horror, many of them having had first-hand experience of what Snape's anger meant. "Any less is a _blatant_ act of disrespect towards _me, your teacher_!"

Ron's face was now the picture of pure terror. The laughter in Seiya's eyes, however, did not vanish.

"We're sorry, Professor," he apologised, with a slightly cheeky tone of voice which suggested that the only thing he was sorry for was being caught. "But you _do_ understand that we were only having a bit of fun, right? It _is_ two o'clock on Friday after all."

The several students watching winced when they heard Seiya's reply. Talking back to Snape, or trying to explain your behaviour, _never_ worked - not if you were in Gryffindor, anyway – and, around 99% of the time, only resulted in a punishment even more cruel.

And a cheeky tone of voice certainly _doesn't_ help.

Snape's face was now a deep shade of red, and looked as if he were ready to raise his wand and use some terrible dark spell. "DETENTION, Mr. Weasley and Mr. Kou! Both of you will report to this classroom tomorrow night, where I am sure to find a more _productive_ use for your mouths than the one to which you have put them to in class today."

Ron nearly fainted in horror, but Seiya merely looked concerned. Snape strode away, his dark robes billowing, as various students, mostly girls, came up to the two and asked if they were all right. Okay, mainly, they asked Seiya.

"_Why_ do all my friends get all the attention?" Ron, despite his shock, managed to complain.

The last straw was when Hermione rushed over and instantly followed the other girls' pattern of behaviour. Ron's face turned red, almost as red as Snape's had been, when he saw her grab Seiya's hand and gaze tenderly into his face like that – this was just _not_ his day.

*****

"Hey, Ron, I hear that the Firebolt X is coming out in a couple of months," Seiya said, feebly attempting to make conversation with the sulking red-headed boy sitting next to him in the empty Potions classroom. But the boy kept his head buried in his arms.

"I'm not talking to you," he muttered.

"Look, I'm sorry I got us into this mess, okay? But I'll get us out too, promise!"

"It's still all your fault," Ron mumbled back. There was a sorrowful tone in his voice, one that suggested he was angry for much _more_ than being in detention. Seiya wondered just _what_ he had done to hurt this kid so much.

"It _will_ be all right! Trust me," he assured, winking mischievously, although Ron, head still buried in his arms, didn't see and couldn't care less.

With a sudden bang, the door opened and Snape came in, wand raised, levitating behind him an enormous cast-iron cauldron. It was encrusted, inside and out, with some sort of black, sooty material.

"I see you two have at least enough of a shred of respect to actually _attend_ your detention," Snape said, smirking as he brought the cauldron to stand in the middle of the room. Ron knew that look in his eyes – it couldn't mean anything good.

"You will now perform a valuable cost-saving service for the Potions department. Ever since that dunderhead Neville Longbottom attempted, and I do mean _attempted_, to brew the simplest of bread-softening potions in his first year, this cauldron has been absolutely unusable. No spell can get this soot off, the house elves have tried without success, and I've finally found that the only way to remove any of this mess -" he tapped a large lump of soot attached to the side of the cauldron, at least three inches thick, with his wand, "- is by _licking_ it."

Ron started to open his mouth in terror, but then shut it as tightly as he could, letting no wisp of air through his lips.

"You may begin. At the end of our detention, I want to see you boys make all the soot disappear, not a single speck left. Or…we will _have_ to continue on Saturday night. And I'm sure you'll learn to value the use of your mouths _far_ too much to waste them on idle gossip about Quidditch teams in class anymore…"

"You – you can't _do_ this!" Protested Ron, who could keep his mouth closed no more. "This is just going too far, even if we _were_ really bad in class."

"Ah, but Mr. Weasley, our caretaker Mr. Filch has a _different_ opinion. In fact, he was the one who suggested this idea to me. So, boys, _all the soot gone, or else_ -" With a very unpleasant smirk of sadistic pleasure, Snape conjured a plush velvet armchair and sat down.

"We'll _never_ get through all of this in a night," Ron complained. "That is, if we don't die of some horrible poisoning first!"

"Hey, Ron, chill out," Seiya assured, putting a hand on the redhead's shoulder, and then whispered: "I'm going to teach the old bat a lesson."

"How are you…"

Without further ado, Seiya cried out: "FIGHTER STAR POWER, MAKE UP!"

Professor Snape and Ron, in a rare moment of unison, both stared and gasped loudly as the black-haired boy with laughing eyes was bathed in a brilliant light, which then faded to reveal – a black-haired girl. Yes, a girl. There was no doubt of that, as she was dressed in a very, _very_ revealing outfit, all black leather and straps. Snape gave a small cry and slumped back in his armchair, and Ron's face seemed permanently frozen in an expression of shock.

The strange girl smirked at seeing their reactions. Then, turning to the giant soot-caked cauldron, she pointed her finger and cried: "STAR SERIOUS LASER!"

A dazzling beam of light shot towards the cauldron, hit it, and there was a brilliant explosion of light. Snape had to jump off his armchair and hide himself under one of the benches. When the light had faded, he crept out carefully and saw what had happened.

All the soot was gone. So were the cauldron itself, a couple of benches, and a giant chunk of the classroom floor.

"Come on, Ron, detention's over," Seiya…or the girl who used to be Seiya said, still smirking.

"What???? _Who_ told you you could…" The expression in Snape's voice was a mixture of rage and confusion at once.

"You did _yourself_, Professor," Ron said, a grin breaking onto his face, one a little too big to _just_ be the result of realizing what the joke was. "First, you asked us 'boys' to clean up, and one of us is not a boy anymore…_I_ still am, though, you can be sure of that. Second, you wanted '_all the soot gone, or else'_, and it _is_ gone! Isn't it?"

"YOU TWO…Leave. Now." Sighing deeply, Snape buried his head in his arms. This has _not_ been his day. In his day, teachers could command _respect_ from their students, and boys did_ not_ turn into girls. And girls certainly did _not_ dress like that and use such unorthodox forms of magic! That was a _definite_ thing!

*****

"So, you're okay with my…erm, little secret?" Seiya asked quizzically. The poor kid, he was the sort who freaked out over everything, even just a little spider on his head as a joke. "I didn't really expect this."

"I'm absolutely _overjoyed_," replied Ron. "I can't _wait_ to tell Hermione! She'll have _no excuse_ to fawn all over you now, ha ha ha!"

So..._that_ was what it was all about, Seiya thought. But Ron was, in his opinion, still overreacting. Maybe he had a jealousy problem? After all, you really _couldn't_ blame _any_ girl for being attracted to someone as handsome, talented and charming as the incredible Seiya Kou.

Not even if he was really a girl himself.


End file.
